Smiling

I snapped this picture today at lunch while sitting at Sonic.  I just wanted to document my smile today.  Today was the first time that I have really smiled in several days.  Last week when I received another "Not Yet" it sent me into a state of depression.  It always hurts when another month goes by without a pregnancy but this time it was especially painful.

Sixty days is unheard of for me.  My cycle is usually very regular.  I know from tests that I do ovulate, but I'm pretty sure I didn't last month.  I have no idea why.  I just felt like my body was giving up and shutting down. 

I did the same.  I gave up and shut down.  

But you guys....you guys lifted me up in prayer.  I cannot even begin to say thank you for all your prayers.  It is so incredibly humbling to hear someone say I've been on their heart and they pray for me often.  Someone I have never met let me know that she has been praying for me daily.  I just don't even know what to do with that.  I am so thankful.  There are just no words.

We serve a God who never leaves us.  He is with us always even in our darkest days.  

It has felt so good to smile today and to praise God through the storm.

Prayers for a friend

It's no secret that leaving HG and starting a new job at QES wasn't easy for me.  I was leaving my best friend and starting over at a new school.  I was a little nervous to say the least.

And then I met my new coworkers.  Ya'll they are seriously some of the sweetest people I have ever met or worked with.  They immediately welcomed and accepted me into their family.  They have been patient with me as I learn the ropes and have answered my countless questions.  

It has been such a blessing to be a part of QES and to work with these people.

My coworker and friend, Theresa, is battling cancer right now.  It seems wrong to use the word battling because she has been so positive about everything.  She goes to treatment bright and early and then comes to work and spends her afternoons doing amazing things with our G/T program.  

Theresa has played a huge role in making my transition to a new school not only smooth but enjoyable.  She is an amazing person, coworker, teacher, and friend.  

I have been blown away by you and the prayers you have said for Andrew and I and our someday babies.  They have been what gets me through the rough days.

I know Theresa has had rough days and will have more has she continues to beat this cancer.  Would you please join me in praying for her and her family?  I know it would mean the world to her.

A Heavy Heart

My heart has been so heavy today. There are numerous family members and friends that I have felt burdened to pray for today. Everything is my life is going beautifully right now, yet I feel this cloud looming over me. I have yet to be able to voice my thoughts, my concerns, my prayers into a sentence. I don't have the words to tell God what is own my heart.

The wonderful thing about my God is that he already knows. He knows my heart and he knows the struggles of those whom I feel so burdened for. He knows about the woman whose marriage is struggling. He knows the mom who had her 11 year old son tell her he wants to live with his dad. He knows the young newlyweds who have a 3 month old baby in the hospital. She can't keep food down and is losing weight. Doctors haven't been able to find a solution. He knows the woman who lost her second husband this week, the two men who lost their dad.

These are only a few of the struggles that are happenIng in the world around me. God seems them all and many I don't see. It's one of those times when I ask the question Uncle Kevin posted about recently. How is God possibly going to use these things for good?

God has put on my heart to love more this year. It is something I feel I'm supposed to work on in 2011. He has asked me to really step up this year and show his love to the people around me. I want to be the one who loves on the ones who are too often see as unlovable. It's easy to love some people, others are more of a challenge for me. I'm trying to learn to see people the way God seems them, to love them despite the fact that they might be a little different from me. I personally feel called to show God's love to a few family members who don't know Christ as far as I know.

Two of those people are the young newlywed parents I mentioned above. The father called me tonight with an update. Their baby girl, Alyssa, gained 11 ounces since yesterday. The doctors don't know what caused the change. I told him I knew WHO caused the change. It was God, an answer to our prayers. I can't help but smile as I type this. I LOVE when God works miracles!! There is no other answer for Alyssa's improvement other than God.

It was reassurance to me that even though I haven't been able to find the words to give to God, he knows my heart and still chooses to answer those prayers. He truly is an awesome God. He still answers prayers and he still works miracles.

Baby Gracie

Please take a few minutes to read about Baby Gracie. She is home with Jesus now. Her Aunt Rachel is having a blog fundraiser to help other mom and dads who have suffered lost. For ever comment left on her post, she is giving $1 to Sufficient GraceMinistries.

One of those times...

when you ask why? When you realize that bad things do happen to people you know, even your friends and family.

My cousin called today to let me know his other cousin (no relation to me) and my best friend from elementary school and high school was found shot in her home today. Her husband was found with her. The family believes the husband killed her and then himself.

She just turned 26 on October 19. I just can't believe it. It is awful. Obviously her family is not taking it well. Please pray for both families. He had children but they did not have any together.

I'm just in shock.

A request for a miracle

My heart and mind has had one big focus today. All babies are miracles from God regardless of how they arrive in this world. Something that I will never understand is why it can be so easy for some women to have babies when they don't even want to be a mother while women who desperately want to be a mom can't just become a mom. My beautiful sister Jill is one of the latter. She and her hubby Alex are two wonderful people. I can't put into words how much I love the two of them so I won't even try -I'll just say that I love them. They have been trying to have a baby for quite some time, but for reasons that only our God knows, they haven't been successful in this journey. Tomorrow they will try again. She is going to the doctor for a transfer tomorrow. I'm praying so hard that these little babies will love their new home want to stay for the next nine months. Jill and Alex would make such wonderful parents. I love to watch them play with their nieces and nephews, but it breaks my heart. I have watched God work one BIG miracle in their life already and I know that he can and will work another one for them. We don't know how or when, but He will.

If you don't mind, please take a moment out of your day to pray for Jill and Alex tomorrow and for their little babies.

I'm looking forward to helping in such a small way Thursday night. After tomorrow she will be on bed rest for a couple of days and work is taking our hubbies out of town. I have the pleasure of taking dinner to Jill and anything else she needs.

Now one last thing - I asked you to pray for them so now it is my turn to do what I asked of you.


Dear Lord,I just come to you tonight with a heavy heart. I lift Jill and Alex and their babies up to you. I just pray that you would take care of each one of them. I pray that you would open Jill's womb and make those babies comfy in their new home. I pray they will love it so much and want to stay for nine more months. Lord, I don't know why you haven't blessed Jill and Alex with children yet, but I believe that someday you will. Until then I pray that you would continue to give them peace on their journey. I pray that they would continue to lean on you for strength. Your word says to lean on you and not our own understanding. I know that they are doing that on a daily basis. Continue to be with them on their journey and I pray that this journey would continue to draw both of them closer to each other as husband and wife and closer to you. Lord, thank you for the miracles you have already worked in their lifes and thank you for the miracles you are going to continue working in their lives. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.

Challenge Complete

Last week at home group, Andrew challenged us to find answers to our prayers. To find things to praise God for and to be thankful for. Homegroup wasn't the only time this had been laid on my heart. I felt God really working on me. And I don't know if it was because I was looking for things or what, but I found it very easy to praise God this week.

*I got to spend quite a bit of time with my hubby this week.
*I was reminded just how great of a job I have - I'm a teacher. I'm so thankful that this is what God chose me to do. I absolutely love it! I'm also thankful that God has put my @ HGMS. I couldn't have asked for a better school, better faculty, or better students.
*I've been thankful for the rain and the cooler days this week.
*Of course I have an awesome family and I married into an awesome family.
* Okay I know this one seems silly, but I just thought it was great how it worked out. I turned the laminater on at school and left because it takes forever to warm up and I had other things to be do. I was worried about staying gone too long because I didn't want someone else to turn it off or get there before I did. When I walked up to the machine, the ready light clicked on. I had perfect timing. :)

When you are looking for things to be thankful for it is super easy to find them. Why aren't we always looking?