Sunday, February 12, 2017

Our First IUI

I'm not sure when I will actually post this, but I want to get down the events of the weekend and how I'm feeling.

So...we did our first IUI yesterday (January 29).

I'm still in shock that I'm writing that sentence.

It seems like we have been waiting forever to make it this far and all of a sudden we were there.

I got a positive surge on my ovulation test Saturday morning and called the doctor to let them know.

We were in the middle of dress shopping when the nurse called me back.

Shot at 9:00 that night.

IUI at 9:00 the following morning.


Cue all the emotions.

Excitement.  Fear.  Hope.  Nervous.

All the emotions.

We were already planning to spend the night with Andrew's mom and dad that evening.  Having given one shot, my mother-in-law had the most shot giving experience.  I am so glad she didn't mind to give me my trigger shot.

I wasn't expecting it to hurt, but I wasn't sure I could inject myself.

I didn't even feel it.  Now I think I could do it myself next time.

The IUI went very smooth.

No pain.

Easy as pie.

It felt like any other appointment we've had.

I kept having to tell myself that was it.

We did it.

The rest of the day was spent resting and attending the symphony.

The distractions were nice.

Fast forward to a week later...February 3.

I went in for blood work so they could check my progesterone.

Late that night I got the results.

My progesterone was 2.9 ng/ml.

That's very low.

I spoke with the nurse Monday afternoon and she confirmed my suspicions.

Progesterone being that low meant that I didn't ovulate when we thought.

I'm not sure why I got the positive surge if I didn't ovulate at that time.

Chances of this being a successful IUI were next to nothing.

I spent the next few days feeling sad and heartbroken.

I also felt dumb for believing this was going to work on the first try.

I wanted to call it quits and walk away.  Yet at the same time I felt impatient and ready to start my next cycle and try again

Infertility brings a huge range of emotions.

And now we're at today....test day.

I went ahead and took a test this morning even though my progesterone levels meant I wasn't pregnant.  I guess I was in denial.

The test confirmed that our first IUI was not successful.

I told myself from the beginning that I would be thankful just to complete an IUI.

And I am.  I am so thankful that we had the chance to do that.  I'm thankful that we know a little more about my cycle than we did before, allowing us to have a better game plan for next time.

We have an appointment next week to discuss a new treatment plan.

I'm not sure when next time will be.

Andrew will be traveling for work soon and we have some other things going on that need to take precedent right now.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Let the Fun Begin

Today we jumped back into things.

I had a doctor appointment this afternoon to do my baseline ultrasound.  

I am very happy with how it went.  

I have  five to six follicles on each side.  This number isn't as high as my doctor would like it to be.  She likes to see it as close to ten as possible.  But it's also not low enough to overly concern her which is good.

I will start clomid in the next couple of days...bring on the hot flashes.

I will go back for another ultrasound at the end of next week and then we will decide on our next step.

The  nurse ordered my trigger shot today.  It will arrive at my house later this week.


That shot makes it feel more real to me.

I have a few emotions going on right now, but mostly excitement.

I'm a little hesitant to get my hopes up because I fear them being crushed.

But at the same time I'm trying to stay positive and have faith.

I feel good about everything.

I have peace about everything.

I'm excited to be doing something again.  

It just seems crazy to me to think that I could very soon be pregnant.

It's an adventure I've been dreaming about for what feels like forever.

There are so many people praying for us and I cannot even begin to express how thankful I am.

I know this post is a bit jumpy, but I'm struggling to put all my emotions together and into words.  I know if I don't get something down now though, I will never do it.  

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Be Strong and Courageous

We decided to take the month of December off from doctor appointments, blood draws, and all things infertility.  As much as I want to do these things or whatever else it might take for us to  get that positive pregnancy test, it is always a relief to take time off.  It's a relief to have a break from that emotional roller coaster.

When I can put infertility out of my mind and act like it isn't an issue life just seems easier.

Over Christmas break we were able to enjoy an incredible winter getaway.  I dare say it was my favorite vacation yet.

Being able to pack up and just go is so easy with the two of us.  Airports are easier.  Train travel is easier.  It's all just easier.

I'm not going to lie.  In moments like that I question how big my desire for children really is.  I know it will be worth it, but man life is so easy right now.

And then we came home and I instantly felt anxious about jumping back into the world of doctor appointments, blood draws, and all things infertility.  I cannot even begin to describe the ups and downs my emotions go through.  If you have ever been there then you understand exactly what I'm talking about.

I opened my mouth more times than I can count to tell Andrew I didn't want to do it.  I didn't want to pursue IUI this month.  

And every single time I closed my mouth before the words came tumbling out.  

I was afraid that if I said it out loud I wouldn't be able to change my mind again.

As we spent time with family for the holidays and I went back to work people were asking what our next step was and when I was going back to the doctor.

The more people asked the more anxious I felt.

I felt like I didn't want to share dates or details with anyone.  Yes I wanted their prayers but sometimes it is just too hard to constantly be sharing.

And then things began shifting.

A coworker told me she felt like this was going to be my year.

God whispered into my heart to share every detail because there was someone out there that needed me to do that.

A family member told me she felt like 2017 would be the year Andrew and I got to share a pregnancy announcement.

God was just giving me cheerleaders all over the place.

My anxiousness slowly began turning into excitement.

In the midst of all that while I was struggling to make the shift from anxiousness to excitement God spoke to me again through His word.

My devotional for that day was based on Joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Y'all I don't have to be anxious or afraid.

I can be strong and courageous.

My God will be with me through every doctor appointment, through every blood draw, through every ultrasound, through every single step.

I knew that but I most definitely needed that reminder.

I have a new peace about returning to fertility treatments, which should be sometime next week.  

I'm believing that 2017 will be the year of Baby Weaver. 

Saturday, January 7, 2017

A Few Random Thoughts

I am determined to be more present here on the blog this year, yet it is already the 7th day of the new year and I haven't blogged a thing.

I've started several post in my head, but I can't seem to find the time or energy to get them from my head to to here.

Going back to school after Christmas break has kicked my tail.  I finally came home Wednesday afternoon, laid on the couch for a couple of hours watching TV, and then went to bed at 7:30.

It was much needed.

I struggled to get out of bed every single morning this past week until Friday.

Friday I was wide awake at 5:15.

Friday we had a snow day and I didn't even have to go to work.

As much as I didn't want a snow day (I'd rather have my days in the summer) it was a much needed snow day.

Andrew worked from home.

We spent the day working, reading, and working on a puzzle.

If you want to know more about my exciting puzzle adventures, follow me on SnapChat.  It's riveting stuff I tell ya.

I just finished reading this book...

It was sooo good.  It is a book for young adults, but I recommend it to anyone.  Historical Fiction...about the Berlin Wall.

I could not put it down.

I always set myself a goal to read 52 books a year.  This year I decided to up that goal to 70 books in 2017.  It feels like a lofty goal, but I think I can do it.

We are getting ready to jump back into the world of fertility treatments.  I have had lots of emotions about that, so many that they need their on blog post.  I'll share soon I promise.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

My 2016 Reading List

1. Life Support by Robert Whitlow
2. Life Everlasting by Robert Whitlow
3.  It's Not What You Think by Jefferson Bethke
4. Child of Mine by David and Beverly Lewis
5. The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis
6. Alibis in Arkansas by Christine Lynxwiler, Jan Reynolds, and Sandy Gaskin
7. Hearts Awakening by Delia Parr
8. Life is Short by Jen Arnold & Bill Klein
9. The Trial by Robert Whitlow
10. Blessed Blessed Blessed by Missy Robertson
11. The Storekeeper's Daughter by Wanda Brunstetter
12. The Quilter's Daughter by Wanda Brunstetter
13. The Bishop's Daughter by Wanda Brunstetter
14. Brush of Wings by Karen Kingsbury
15. The Chase by Kyle and Kelsey Kupecky
16.  The English Son by Wanda Brunstetter
17. The Stubborn Father by Wanda Brunstetter
18. The Betrayed Fiancee by Wanda Brunstetter
19. Think Big by Jen Arnold & Bill Klein
20. Young and Beardless by John Luke Robertson
21. The Missing Will by Wanda Brunstetter
22. Giddy Up, Eunice by Sophie Hudson
23. False Pretenses by Kathy Herman
24. Dangerous Mercy by Kathy Herman
25. Relentless Pursuit by Kathy Herman
26. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
27. Wagered Hearts by Robin Lee Hatcher
28. The Divided Family by Wanda Brunstetter
29. Gathering Shadows by Nancy Mehl
30. Deadly Echoes by Nancy Mehl
31. Rising Darkness by Nancy Mehl
32. Mathematical Mindsets by Joan Boaler
33. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by JK Rowling & John Tiffany
34. The Selfless Act by Wanda Brunstetter
35. One Perfect Springs by Irene Hannon
36. Prisoner B-3087 by Alan Gratz
37. Shooting Kabul by N.H. Senzai
38. The City of Ember by Jeanne DuPrau
39.  The People of Sparks by Jeanne DuPrau
40. The Prophet of Yonwood by Jeanne DuPrau
41. The Diamond of Darkhold by Jeanne DuPrau
42. The Pinballs by Betsy Byars
43. The Aviator's Wife by Melanie Benjamin
44. Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah
45. Fly Away by Kristin Hannah
46. Killing Reagan by Bill O'Reilly
47. Dodger and Me by Jordan Sonnenblick
48. The Magnolia Story by Chip Gaines
49. Night Road by Kristin Hannah
50. On Christmas Eve by Ann M. Martin
51. Wonder by R.J. Palacio
52. The Julian Chapter by R.J. Palacio
53. Pluto: A Wonder Story by R.J. Palacio
54. Shingaling: A Wonder Story by R.J. Palacio
55. A Baxter Family Christmas by Karen Kingsbury
56. Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde
57.Talking as Fast as I Can y Lauren Graham
58. America's First Daughter by Stephanie Dray
59. A Plain and Simple Christmas by Amy Clipston

Friday, December 30, 2016

Friday Favorites: End of Year Review


The older I get the faster the years seem to pass by me.

As cliche as it is to say seems like only yesterday I was saying goodbye to 2015.

2016 has been good to Andrew and me.  

It's been a year of healing, growth, and of finding contentment in our wait.

I thought it would be fun to look back at some of my favorite memories from each month in 2016.

JANUARY...My favorite thing about January is always celebrating our anniversary.  This year we celebrated with mani/pedis and it could not have been more perfect.  

Visiting the trumpeter swans is always a January favorite.  This year we got to share the experience with my parents.

FEBRUARY... Sleepovers with my favorite twins is always my favorite.

We enjoyed a weekend in Branson filled with shopping and golfing.

And I said goodbye to braces.  Straight teeth are definitely a favorite.

MARCH...My favorite thing about March is our family competition for March Madness.  One of these days I'm going to win it all!  Maybe 2017 will be my year.

APRIL... April brings with it Andrew's birthday and the Masters.  Our Masters' Porch party/Andrew and Cody's birthday celebration is easily my favorite April memory.

MAY...May was a good month.  We made the decision to pursue IUI...maybe 2017 will be the year we actually get to do an IUI.

We spent a fun weekend in Memphis where I got to see one of my favorite singers in concert.

And we celebrated Mikey and Ellie's first birthday.

Our Americana Porch Party is always a favorite...

JUNE...Aww..summer break...always a favorite.

Lots of time on the lake to eat and soak up the sun.

Time with these three is always a favorite of mine.

JULY...Our week long getaway to the Carolinas was our favorite for this month.  

 That apple pie ice cream in a waffle cone was Andrew's favorite.  He is still talking about it.

Enjoying a few days with some of our favorite people.

AUGUST...Back to school.

This is my favorite area in my classroom.

My favorite flavor of shake, salted caramel, made a come back for 1/2 price shakes.

SEPTEMBER...We celebrated my birthday with two of my very favorite things - Gus's fried chicken and Adam Levine. 

Loved my Daddy/Daughter movie date to see Greater which quickly became one of my favorite movies.

OCTOBER...Hosting a family movie night, lunch cruise, and climbing Sugarloaf was a ton of fun.

NOVEMBER...We celebrated Thanksgiving with our families.

And had a fun photoshoot.  This is one of my favorite pictures from our session.

DECEMBER...Oh my!  I think everything about December is my favorite.  

A weekend with my babies so we could do our annual Christmas craft.

An amazing winter vacation.

Celebrating Christmas with our families.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Our 2016 Christmas Tree Adventure

Today was the day.

We were going to pick out the perfect Christmas tree for our family.

We ate our lunch and got ready to go to the tree farm.  

We hopped in Old Henry and tired to fire him up.

Old Henry was showing his age though and didn't want to start.

I pulled the Caddy around and jumped the truck.

I returned the Caddy to its parking spot, walked back to the truck and hopped in.

The truck died again.

Caddy was pulled back to the truck and the truck was jumped again.

We made it to the front of the yard before the truck died again.

At this point Andrew decided the truck wasn't going to make it to the auto store.

He pulled the battery out.  

This was adventure in and of itself.

We finally got the battery out and made it to the auto store.

Back home and new batter installed

We FINALLY made it to the tree farm.

We searched and searched.

It was pretty cold out there.

We finally found the perfect tree.

We claimed our tree.

And then they came and cut it down for us.

We brought it home and put it in the stand.

It's a beauty...a tall beauty.

Lights and ornaments to come...