Four No More

I really didn't mean to let so much time go by between posts.  I had several posts in my head that I intended to share, but that all changed last Saturday...April 14.

Andrew was in NY visiting with some old high school friends.  I put the dogs outside and got ready to go climb Pinnacle.  On the way I changed my mind and did a little shopping instead of climbing Pinnacle.  I was gone about 3 hours. 

I came home to my worst nightmare.  My first clue was when I pulled into the driveway and I didn't hear Liberty and Liam barking at me the way they usually do.  When I opened the backdoor to let them in, they weren't there.  I called for them, but they didn't come running.

I immediately called Andrew, started praying, and walking around looking.  Andrew called our nephew Cody to help with the search.  We walked all through our neighborhood calling them and drove up and down the surrounding streets.  Nothing.

It was awful.  I spent most of that night in the fetal position sobbing.  I know Andrew felt bad that he wasn't here with me to help look.

Sunday was more of the same.  I would drive around until I couldn't do it anymore.  Then I'd come home and sob.  Drive around some more.  Sob.  It was the cycle of the day.

I'm not sure how I made it through Monday. 

Andrew came home Tuesday.  I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I was that he was home and able to take over. 

Throughout those days we had a couple of phone calls from the flyers we had passed out and hung everywhere.

I was keeping my phone on at school at all times just waiting on a phone call saying someone had their hands on my babies.

I got a call Wednesday afternoon from a little boy who was certain Lib and Liam were hanging out in his neighborhood.  The plan was to go check it out after school.  I wore a skirt that day so I decided to swing by the house to change first.  When I got out of my car in the driveway I thought I heard Liberty crying in the backyard.

But ya'll since they disappeared on Saturday I've seen and heard those dogs so many times.  I just wanted to find them so badly.

She didn't come running when I opened the door so I figured I was just hearing things again.  But when I turned to go back in, she came running around the corner crying.  You could definitely tell she was thankful to be back at home.  There were tears all around.

God had answered our prayers and brought my girl home. 

We figured Liam had to be near by so the search began again.  It ended again with no luck.

Our little buddy still hasn't come home.  It's been almost two weeks.  It absolutely breaks my heart to think of him being out there.  He hates to go outside and he has been living out there for nearly 14 days.

We've gotten several false alarms.  In fact we got two calls within five minutes of each other tonight from people who were certain they were holding Liam.  Both false alarms.

I no longer believe that anyone has seen him.  I think all the phone calls were false alarms.  I try not to think about what could have happened to him.

We are currently teetering between still believing he will come home and trying to accept that he is gone forever.  It's a hard place for my heart to be. 

Liberty misses him too.  She hasn't been the same since coming home.

Our family just doesn't seem complete without him.  He's our 4th. 

I'm ready to be a family of 4 again.