The Waiting

Waiting.

That could easily be the definition of infertility.

Waiting for your turn.  Waiting on the day you finally see a positive test.

That's the big wait.

But there is waiting within the waiting.

Sometimes it feels like life is divided up into chunks of two week waiting periods.

Waiting on your cycle.

And then approximately two weeks of waiting on ovulation.

Then the two week wait starts over as you wait to see if this is the month.  

And if all that waiting isn't enough there's the waiting in the doctor's office.

The waiting room at fertility clinics should offer frequent flyer miles.

Let you earn some points that might help pay for all the doctor's visits.

My devotional reminded me this morning that God knew that I would be in this time of waiting long before I was ever born.  He knew the waiting would make me feel weary at times.

And so before I was born, before I ever knew I would experience this waiting, he gave me stories of encouragement in His word.  Stories of Hannah and Sarah and Elizabeth.

I'm thankful God knew.  

I'm thankful He does not leave me to wait alone.

He is right there with me in the big wait and all the little waits.

And friend, He is with you.  He has not left you to journey through life alone. 

THIS child

A few weeks ago I began a new devotional called  Infertility Encouragement from Sarah's Laughter.  I've really been enjoying it.  

Tuesday's devotional was especially encouraging to me.

I want to share it with you.

I asked the Lord to give me this child, and he granted my request.

1 Samuel 1:27

Oh, how I wish there were video cameras in Hannah's day.  As much as I love to read Hannah's words, I would really love to watch her tell her story.  I'd love to hear her petitions to the Almighty.  I'd love to see her face when she told Eli the priest that she wasn't drunk, but heartbroken.  Most of all, I'd want to eavesdrop when she brought her God-sent son back to that same priest and dedicated him to the Lord.  I'd ask you to watch that video today.

I'd ask you to fast forward to Hannah holding her precious baby boy in her arms, saying: "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted what I asked of Him..." I'd ask you to start over and watch it again.  And again.  "For this child I prayed..."  I can't help but believe if we could hear Hannah's voice when she said these words, we might just hear her put her passionate emphasis on the word this.  "For THIS child I prayed..."

The waiting is hard.  You simply want a baby.  You don't care whether it's a boy or a girl, or born at the perfect time of year.  You just want a healthy baby.  You cry out to God with everything in you to let this month be the month.  Anybody who has ever gone through infertility would understand.

But listen to Hannah.  "For this child I prayed."  What she didn't realize all those years - as she was weeping and crying out to God for a baby - was that every tear and every prayer was for Samuel.  For this child I prayed.  It must have all come together the moment she saw his face.  "Oh, I understand.  It was for this child I prayed and waited.  Not another!  He was so worth it!"

If Hannah had conceived when she first desired a child, that child would not have been Samuel.  There's no way she could have realized the specific child she was praying for, but God knew.  Similarly, God has a specific purpose and plan for your infertility.  It is our prayer that one day, just as you have wept with Hannah, you will join with her in saying, "For this child I prayed, and God has granted what I asked of Him."