Pregnant?

Nope not us! But it seems like everyone else.

About a month ago I read a post on Courtney's blog about submitting to your husband. In her post she stated that if you and your husband ever disagree about something you should let your husband lead and make the decision. The Lord immediately brought to mind the timing of children. I am ready to start having children, but Andrew isn't quite there yet. No sooner than He had brought this to mind, I began arguing with him. If I let my husband make this huge decision then I wouldn't get my way. We would be waiting to have kids. I even questioned my husband's ability to seek God's will and not his own on this decision.

I fought the Lord on this for several days and then just sort of forgot about it. A week later the Lord brought it back to mind. Only this time when He did, I wasn't arguing. I had complete peace about submitting in this area. God showed me that it wasn't up to me anyway. I never really had control over the situation, nor does Andrew. By submitting to my husband what I'm really doing is submitting to my Father.

The Lord was also good to remind me of several times in our marriage where the husband made a big decision with me in mind. Those were times when I felt such a deep love by my husband.

He also showed me that I needed to seek forgiveness in this area. I had made the statement on more than one occasion that this time next year I was going to stop taking birth control and the husband could do with that what he pleased. God helped me realize how disrespectful this was of me.

Through all of this, primarily the beginning, I questioned whether or not this was really God speaking to me or me just making this up on my own. Before I shared any of this with the husband, I shared my feelings with my sister-in-law Joy. I knew that she would give me good Biblical advice. I knew what she was going to say before I even spoke to her, which is why I didn't share with her in the very beginning. I was fighting and wasn't ready to hear it.

With her encouragement and a conviction from God, I finally shared my heart with Andrew. It wasn't easy for me. I don't know why, but I found it very difficult to share all this with him. It was especially hard to admit that I was disrespectful and ask for his forgiveness.

But I did. And I've had such peace about not having children yet since then. I know that God's timing is perfect. And I trust my husband to seek God's timing in this.

Since all of this happened just a few weeks ago, I've learned of six people who just found out they were expecting. I have been able to truly be happy for them. I wonder why it's the right time for couples who have only been married a couple of years and it isn't the right time for us when we've been married almost 7 years. And then I think about how rough our first year or two of marriage was and how much sweeter it is now. I imagine how much sweeter it will get as we wait to add to our family. God is still growing us as people, as Christians. I see that and realize waiting is well worth it.