Twas the Night Before...

Tomorrow morning Andrew and I are going to meet our kids.

I can't even believe I just typed that sentence.

I can't believe we are finally to this point.

After years of infertility and months of paperwork the day is finally here.

We were officially matched with a sibling group last Wednesday and on last Friday we had a full disclosure meeting with their adoption specialist.

During that meeting we received the kids' full files and we were able to ask any and all questions that we had at the time.

Their full file included evaluations from when they entered foster care, every doctor appointment since then, their school records, and more information on their story and why they are in foster care.

It was a lot to take in.

A LOT.

I'm still not sure we've taken it all in.

That night I couldn't sleep.  I stayed up reading their files and crying.

I cried because of all they've been through.

I cried because I feel like they are ours.

I cried because it is not going to be an easy path ahead of us.

I just cried.

It felt so good to pour my heart out to my Father.  

I believe He has called us to this path and I believe He will carry us through every step.

But it can still feel extremely overwhelming.

I think I'm equal parts excited and terrified for what lies ahead.

I don't know how tomorrow is going to go.

Part of me wants love at first sight and instant connection.

But I know that might not be the case and that's okay.

I'm keep telling myself that tomorrow is simply about meeting them.  

We have time to get to know them and bond with them.  It doesn't all have to happen tomorrow.

I can't wait to see my husband interact with them.  

I can't wait to watch him fall in love with our kids.

To some extent we fell in love with them months ago when we first saw their picture.

We are told they want to be adopted and have been dreaming about their forever family for awhile now.  I hope tomorrow they find that forever family in us.

They are a beautiful group of 8 brothers and sisters.  Tomorrow we will meet 7 of them.  Unfortunately one of the boys is not currently in the same place as the others so we will meet him at another time.

I wonder what questions they will have for us.  They know why they are meeting us.  What are they thinking?  Are they as nervous and as excited as we are?

I've been praying since the beginning of this process that God would prepare our hearts to become part of our children's family and their hearts to become part of our family.

That is still my prayer as we walk down this path.

Tomorrow is a big day.

I can't wait.