Here We Go Again!

The question I've been getting a lot lately...

"What are you doing this summer?"

My answer...

"Not much"

Which isn't really true at all, but I'm pretty sure it would be a little awkward for some if I answered honestly.

My summer plans include a TON of doctor's appointments.

It's time (hopefully) for IUI #2.

Emotions...I have so many of them.

Let me just walk you through we are at right now.

We took a bit of a break after IUI #1...it just hadn't been the right time.  The break was long enough that everyone at my clinic commented on how excited they were to hear from me.  I seriously love the staff.  They are so sweet and are the biggest cheerleaders for their patients.  

So anyway...we finally decided it was time.

Or maybe I decided, but Andrew agreed. :)

Last month I was on birth control.

Seems counterproductive doesn't it?

The plan was that the birth control would allow my body to rest so that it would be all ready for an IUI.

So I did that and then I had my baseline ultrasound last week.  This is where they check to make sure there are no cysts and my body is ready to start the process.

I had zero cysts!!

That's such a huge praise because I normally have 1-3.  

I have a total of 13 follicles (potential eggs).  She told me this during the ultrasound and how many of the 13 were in each ovary.  I didn't really think much about it other than it sounded good.

Then a few days later I went back and looked to see how many follicles I had at this point when we did IUI #1.

I had 7.  

Another huge praise!

Everything about this cycle feels different and look different.

I feel different during this cycle. 

I feel hopeful and scared.

But I also feel trust, which I'm not sure I did the first time.

I trust that no matter the outcome it's going to be okay.

I trust that God has me in the palm of his hand and he's not letting go.

And I keep telling myself those two things over and over and over.

Because there is that fear and the enemy tries to use that fear to fill me full of lies.

It's a daily struggle.

I will begin home ovulation tests this week.  

My next appointment will be Monday or when I get a positive ovulation test..which ever comes first.  That appointment will determine where we go from there.  I am taking 150mg of Clomid which is the most I've ever taken.  And so far (knock on wood) I haven't had any hot flashes with the Clomid.  

Praise!

I would greatly appreciate your prayers.  Pray that clomid will work and I will have plenty of good healthy eggs.  Pray that I would have the strength to fight the lies that too often fill my head.

Thank you for praying and for walking alongside me in this journey.