We're Having a Baby!!

Y'all I am in complete shock.

Let's back up to June.  

As I was sitting in the hospital holding my newest nephew, Christian, I felt like God told me my turn was coming.  I would be next.

Later that month we did our second IUI and it did not result in a pregnancy.

July came and I began reading through the New Testament.  I just felt like I needed to know Jesus better.  I read about the miracles he performed while here on Earth.  I read about him healing the lame and the blind.  I read about Elizabeth being given a child in her old age.  As I read about all these miracles I felt God tell me I didn't need fertility treatments.  He could and he would heal my infertility without them.

I believed that and I trusted that.

But believing and trusting can be hard.

It was a constant battle between believing God could and would heal us without treatments and knowing that sometimes God uses treatments and doctors to bring people their babies.  In other words I still wanted to believe I was in control of this.

In October Andrew and I decided we would attempt an IUI again, but it would be different.  We decided that the drug I had been on in the past was not the right one for us so we would be trying a new drug that I would have to give myself  through daily shots.  I was not excited about this.  Andrew wasn't excited about the fact that it was going to mean the procedure was more expensive.  We also decided that we weren't going to tell anyone that we were doing an IUI this time.  Having to tell everyone that the June IUI didn't work was just too hard on me.

We decided to go to Branson for a weekend in October and it ended up being the same weekend I needed to start the IUI cycle so it didn't work out that month.

November it would be then.

November's cycle started while we were on vacation so it was another month when the timing just didn't work out.

We had the best time on vacation.

California was an amazing week together just relaxing.

Then we came home and Andrew started three weeks of traveling for work.   He hasn't been home a whole lot in the past three weeks.  

Because of that and the fact that I knew this cycle should start around Christmas, I had just told myself this would not be the month.  I've been waiting on January.

On Friday the 22nd I thought about taking a test.  Not because I thought I might be pregnant but because  we were having Weaver Christmas that evening.  Anytime there is a holiday or big event like that I always think about how fun it would be to tell everyone we were pregnant.  I ended up not taking a test because I really didn't think I was pregnant and if by chance I was pregnant I wasn't sure I'd be ready to tell everyone.

I went through the same thing for Christmas morning.  I thought how awesome would it be if Andrew opened a gift letting him know he was going to be a Daddy.

After we opened our gifts and enjoyed a Christmas morning nap, I decided I wanted to relax in a hot bath.  I started the water and dropped in one of my new bath bombs, all while debating whether or not I was going to take a test.  I knew I had a cheap 88 cent test so I thought why not!  It's not like it's an expensive test and I felt like I was in a good place and a negative test would not bother me.

So I took the test and pretty much went to throw it away immediately without even looking at it.  I've had almost seven years of negative test so I NEVER expected to see two lines. As my hand was moving toward the trash can to toss it I look down and realize there are two very clear lines on this test.

I immediately started bawling!  I came flying out of the bathroom holding it out for Andrew to see. He had no idea I was even thinking about taking a test.

He just looked at me and said, "Does that mean you're having a baby?"

All I could do was nod my head.

Then we bawled together. :)

We are an absolute hot mess in this picture but we were too excited to care.

All these years of no has made him a bit skeptic too.  He asked if it could be a false positive and if I had another test I could take.  I think we were both a little afraid to get too excited.  He began researching false positives while I drank lots of water so I could take another test.

That second test was probably the scariest test I had ever taken.  I couldn't believe one test was positive.  I was terrified that I wouldn't get two positives.

But I did. 

Andrew thought I was a little weird for putting the date on them and keeping them, but you better believe I'm keeping these things forever.  I don't care how gross that might be.  HA!

We enjoyed it by ourselves for maybe two hours before I was ready to start calling people.  I could not sit still.  I was so excited and anxious and nervous and all the things.

We FaceTimed with my parents first.  I told them I got a Christmas present I wanted to show them and then held up the tests.  Tears and congratulations all around. :)

Then I sent the picture of us holding the test to my brother and immediately called him.  I told him I sent him a picture of a Christmas present I got this morning.  He told me to hold on and then got real quiet.  Melissa had just laid down for a nap.  I told him to go wake her up, she was going to want to see this gift too.  

The phone went silent.

Y'all I don't think I ever seen or heard my little brother cry.  Hearing him cry happy tears over the phone was pretty much the sweetest thing ever.  I cry now just thinking about it.

We had already planned to have dinner at Andrew's parents house so I made Andrew load up and go over there early.  I couldn't stand it.  I wanted to walk in and tell them immediately.  

Andrew walks in and starts watching TV and plying with BB guns like we don't have the news of a lifetime.

I finally looked at him and mouthed "You're killing me!"

I had been sitting pretty much silently while Belinda and Krystal talked about I don't even know what. LOL.

He got his mom and dad in the kitchen and told them we were going to have to change the date of our DC trip with them.  We needed to go earlier because by our math I will be around 33 weeks in July.  His mom just said "Oh okay" and then she realized what he was saying.  Hugs and Tears overflowing.

Chris and Krystal were in the garage with the BB guns while we told Andrew's parents.  We walked into the garage and I asked Krystal how hard it would be to add a birthday to the sign she got Belinda for Christmas.  She said not hard at all.  I said good because we are going to need another one for August.  She just looked at me for a second and then kind of whispered, "Are you pregnant?"  I nodded yes and she burst into tears.  We hugged and then Chris realized what we had said and he and Andrew cried and hugged.

From there we went inside and called the rest of the siblings.  None of them answered at first.  But  we finally got them all on FaceTime and shared our news, crying every single time.

We called grandparents and aunts and uncles.

We told a few friends.

At that point I felt like we had told so many people we might as well put it on social media too.

I know some people prefer to wait until further along to share and I totally get that.  I had those thoughts yesterday too.

But I've waited so many years for this.

And I believe life begins with conception.  We have a little life to celebrate.  We are trusting and believing for a healthy pregnancy.

Sharing or not sharing right now will not affect the outcome of this at all.  

God has given us a little life and he has given us soooo many people to pray with us through our wait.

I want to share this news and enjoy it.  

I don't want to live in fear.

I want to live in praise for this incredible blessing.

We are having a baby!

And I'm not sure I will ever stop crying tears of thanksgiving over that.