Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Who Opened the Flood Gates?

I'm not really sure to how to begin this post or even where I'm going with this post. Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'll hit publish when I'm finished. There are things I just feel like I need to write out. I figure it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. Right?

Do you ever have days where it seems like every little thing makes you cry? You can't seem to keep it together for more than a few minutes before losing it all over again?

That's been me the past couple of days.

I have really been struggling with something personal lately. It's one of those things that I keep telling myself is crazy, but I can't make myself believe that. I don't want to talk about it to anyone because I know people will respond in one of two ways. They will either tell me I'm wrong and give me compliments because that's what you do in a situation like this or they will laugh and say I'm crazy for thinking that way.

I've only shared about this issue twice - once with my husband and once with a coworker. I got the two reactions above. I don't really blame my husband. He's a guy and I guess you could say this is a girl thing. But my coworker's reaction really hurt my feelings and pretty much reassured that I didn't need to share this with anyone else ever again.

So I feel like it's just me and this situation and I'm losing. Not fun. Last night something triggered the thought and I just lost it. I cried all night. And I'm talking the snot running out your nose, face all red and blotchy, can't catch your breath kind of crying.

I went to work today only to be greeted by a concerned parent who wanted to tell me everything I was doing as a teacher was wrong. Please don't go bashing this parent. She really was just concerned for her student. She wasn't nasty or anything like that. I believe she genuinely felt bad for what she was saying. Her child isn't your average student. I just couldn't take it today. It was all I could do to maintain professionalism and not cry. I pray that other teachers would never have to endure the type of meeting I had today. It was painful.

Today's goal quickly became to make it through the day without crying in front of my students. Thankfully God has blessed me with a great boss and some of the best coworkers in the world.

I just feel like someone has opened the flood gates. I can't seem to stop crying, which is frustrating.

Hoping to dance out my stress and worry and tears tonight during two hours of Zumba!


  1. I absolutely have days where I can't stop crying. I really pray tomorrow is better. If you want to talk about what is going on, you can always talk to me. Now that I've read your blog I won't give you either of those responses. :) And chances are, you will eventually find someone who is dealing with the same issues as you.


  2. Aw...I wish I lived closer to you so you could cry on my shoulder. I'm a mom and I would listen to you and not judge.
    Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
    Prayers and hugs,
    Love, from Wisconsin

  3. Praying for you and what you're struggling with. Give it all to HIM...He always has the right answers and makes everything better. :)

    Love you!