Adoption has a way of being a beautiful distraction.
It is a new dream.
A new path.
I don't mean that to sound like adoption is a second best option because it's not.
I believe it is the best option.
I believe it is the best option because I believe it is God's first option.
But every once in awhile my mind stops dreaming about adoption and slips back into that deep desire to have a biological child.
I'm not sure I will ever stop wondering what it would be like to go through a pregnancy and give birth to a child.
Sometimes I still cry out to God that it just isn't fair.
And then I feel guilty.
God has called me to be an adoptive mom.
And even though I haven't experience that yet, I'm pretty sure it's going to be the most amazing thing EVER.
I am incredibly humbled that God would choose me to walk this path, to adopt children into our family, and be their mom.
I find myself asking Why me? quite often.
Sometimes it is Why me? Why can't I have babies?
Sometimes it is Why me? Why do I get to be the one to adopt? Why did you choose me for such an amazing thing? I can't believe you chose me.
Adoption and infertility make for a roller coaster of emotions.
Ups and Downs.
Highs and Lows.
Thankfully I do not have to ride alone.