I Have a Golden Calf

Thou shall have no other gods before me.  Exodus 20:3

Does anyone else envision a golden calf when they read that or is just me?

It is so easy for me to just read right over that verse.  I'm not on my knees bowing to a human made god.

At least not physically.

I was in a Lifeway store last weekend and was drawn to this book.

It wasn't what I had gone in looking for.  It wasn't dealing with an issue that I felt I was struggling with.

Yet, I was drawn to it.

I've only read two chapters.  I'm taking my time with it.  Partly because I want to get everything from it that God has for me.  Partly because I'm afraid of what God has for me. 

It is about the gods that are at war in our lives.  The idols that fight so diligently for our heart.

Tonight as I was reading through a section that ask you to really examine your heart, I realized that I have idols.  Big ones!  Strong ones!  Dominant ones!

Though I haven't physically built any idols, I have constructed them in my heart.  

Author Kyle Idleman encourages the reader to answer the following questions.

1. What disappoints you?

2. What do you complain about the most?

3. Where do you make financial sacrifices?

4. What worries you?

5. Where is your sanctuary?

6. What infuriates you?

7. What are your dreams?

Know what I found?  I have the same answer to 5 of these 7 questions.

And though different, I didn't like my answer to the other two questions either.

It is heartbreaking to realize that not only have I made this particular thing in my life an idol, but it is a HUGE one.

I have been asking myself a question quite a bit lately.  Tonight I realized I have been asking the wrong question. 

The right question is about my love for my Father.  Is He enough for me?  I know the right answer is yes, YES HE IS!  But I haven't been living that way.  Honestly I haven't been feeling that way.

I was able to go to Him tonight and seek forgiveness.  I was able to lay my idol down at the foot of the cross and ask the Lord to help me seek Him and only Him.

When you can picture the cross and picture yourself kneeling at the foot of the cross giving it all to God...

It brought me to tears.  I am so thankful that He loves me always.  Even when I'm not loving him the way I should.  Even when I'm so undeserving...which is all the time.

I know this will be a daily struggle for me.  I will have to go to Him time and time again and give it back to Him.

I am so thankful that He allows us to do that.

Acknowledge that the Lord is God!  He made us, and we are his.  We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.    Psalms 100:3