Sunday, May 16, 2010


For the past three or four days, I have felt tired. I have been tired in every way a person can be tired. I've just wanted to quit. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but it is how I have felt. I have been tired physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Just tired.

I could feel myself slipping into a place I didn't want to be in, yet I went there. There didn't seem to be anything I could do to prevent it. I know a lot of this has to do with the fact that I've been letting my time with God be swept under the rug lately. I have used the excuse I just don't have time a little too often lately. Honestly, if I spent all the time I spent saying I didn't have enough time on building my relationship with God, I would probably be a lot better off right now.

I have been up and down this weekend. I am so thankful that we didn't have any plans this weekend. It's been too long since I could take a weekend to just relax and enjoy it. That is exactly what I've done this weekend. I've read, painted, and done some scrapbooking.

Sometimes I just get tired of trying to keep up with everything in my life. I get to the point where I feel like I'm pretending with every thing and everyone. I feel like I can't let anyone in on how I'm really feeling. I hate that! Why do we feel the need to put up a front for everyone. Why can't I just say I'm struggling and I really need your prayers. Wait a minute! I can.


There. I said it.

Bless my sweet husband's heart. It has been no secret to him that something was up with me this weekend, but he didn't know what. I just couldn't manage to put it into words to talk to him about it. He tells me loves me on a daily basis and multiple times each day at that. But I think he has told me he loves me more in the past two days than he ever has. He knew I wasn't ready to talk yet, but just need him. He's the best!

Even when I'm feeling tired and ready to give up, God is there. I have received random emails and text messages from family and friends this weekend letting me know they were thinking of me or praying for me. They were all people who don't normally email me or text me. I know this was of God and I am so thankful for his intervention.

I have no way of wrapping up this post today. But I will say that I have a thankful heart today. I'm thankful for a God who loves me even when I'm feeling low. I'm thankful for a husband who loves me even when I'm slightly moody and crazy. And I'm thankful for you, friends that I can poor my heart out too.

Praying that you have a blessed week!


  1. I pray for you every day, but I will pray specifically. It's so easy for all of us to let our time with God "slide" - that ol' sinful nature, I guess. Love you!

  2. Elains, I think we've all been "there." As I read your post, I felt I could relate on many levels. Don't beat yourself up. We all can't help how we feel sometimes, even though we know how we are feeling isn't right. I usually give myself permission to feel bad for awhile and then try to do things to get me out of my funk. I have a feeling the end of the school year has a lot to do with it. The end of a year a stressful time.

    Praying for my friend...


  3. Praying for you right now!

    Love you!