Monday, April 26, 2010

I'm Done! Stick a fork in me!

We had the big test a couple of weeks ago. Remember that pity party? A week of testing all morning and wasting time all afternoon. Awful week.

Well now those test are done. Those are the test that we build up all year long, telling the students that is why they are in school. The test are all that matters. They have to do well on the test. We are told all year long teach for the test.

Those test fall mid-April. At that point, I am supposed to have taught a year's worth of Science. If I don't get to it, which I never could, it doesn't matter. My students will still be test over it and expected to do well.

Now that test are over the students have done what they have to for the year. They have officially checked out. They've taken that big test so they feel like anything we do from here on out can't be that important. For the past week, it has been a constant battle to help them realize they are still in school and we still have work to be done.

I have to be honest with you, this year I have checked out with them. I'm tired. I have honestly woke up every day for the past week and said out loud, "I don't want to go." I hate feeling that way. I really do. It's not even that I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. I flat out do not want to go to work.

We have an ACSIP Audit Monday. That basically means we have people from the state coming to make sure that we are following the plan that we wrote to help improve test scores. They have written up every school they have visited this year. At this point, I just want to survive through that.

My goal every day is not to lose my patient. My goal is to speak in a soft voice and not yell. How sad is that! I'm not at all worried about teaching.

If you think about me over the next month or so, say a little prayer. I do love my job, but right now I'm having a hard time with that.


  1. Girl, I hope you are able to actually enjoy your job and your students for the next month or so... I hate that it is so hard for you right now. I'll be praying! :)

    And about my need to go to Target... I don't even know if I could come up with a list or I would let you go for me! :) You are so sweet! If you need a break from your frustrating teaching life, let me know.... I have a few little girls who are pretty good at lifting people's spirits - they work for me all the time!

  2. Read this last night on my phone and then it died, so I didn't get to comment. I'm praying for you and your kiddos!

  3. Hope you can stick it out just a few more weeks! Good luck!!