Thursday, October 28, 2010

30 Days: Future & Regrets

I didn't spend much time with a computer yetserday so I missed Katie's challenge of sharing something I look forward to.

There are a lot of things I look forward pictures, a trip to Branson with my parents, Christmas, summer vacation...the list goes on.

But I think the biggest thing I look forward to is the time when God will see fit to add to my family. God has placed it on my heart that now is not the time for us to add to our family. I also feel God has made it clear to me that I should allow my husband to lead in this area of our lives.

With that being said, I also believe God has given me a dream of being a mom. My Father knows the desires of my heart.

I dream about watching Drew be a dad. I think he is going to be the absolute best daddy to our kids. I've seen this with our nieces & nephews. He is great with them. And when I can get him to hold a baby, my heart melts.

I dream about how I will tell my parents that they are going to be grandparents. And yes I have some ideas. :0

I dream about finding the perfect name and about decorating a nursery. I dream about the traditions we will have as a family.

The memories we will make is what I most look forward to.

I enjoy looking forward to the future. Most of the time I enjoy looking to the past.

Today, Katie challenges us to share our regrets. I really don't have a lot of regrets.

God has allowed me to learn from the mistakes I have made. However, I did make a decision when I was 18 that I deeply regret. It was one of those things I knew wasn't right but I chose that route anyway.

It is not a mistake I am comfortable sharing with you at this time. I know at some point I will have to confess it, but I'm just not ready. I have confessed to my Heavenly Father and I know He has forgiven me. But I still struggle with forgiving myself and moving past the decision. Because of that struggle I still see the effects of this decision in my life today.

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