Being a Big Girl Stinks!

Do you ever get something on your brain that you can't get off and it ends up killing your mood?

That is where I am tonight. I've had an absolutely wonderful day. But somewhere along the way this evening I began to think about something. I told you I had a big decision to make regarding work. It's been on my mind and it is driving me crazy.

I know that if I'm honest without myself the reason I have for doing this isn't really the right reason. It's a selfish reason. It's a childish reason. But I also know my reasons for not doing it aren't exactly the kind of reason a mature adult would have.

I'm just so stuck. I feel like it's a lose lose situation. Basically option A is hard in the beginning and then it is pretty much over, but I'm afraid it will also cause some people to think they have power over me. I also feel like I would be letting some people down, but maybe that is just prideful thinking. Option B will last at least a year and is something I so don't want to have to live through.

I know I'm being vague here and I'm probably not even making sense. I just don't want to put my thoughts out there for my coworkers yet, not until I know what I'm going to do.

I just feel like I need to talk to someone about it, say it all out loud, and get a unbiased opinion. I tried to talk to Drew about it tonight, but my sweet husband said I was a big girl and could make this decision on my own. He also reminded me that I don't have to know the answer right now. Why is it that he gives logical advice when all I want to do is cry, but when I actually want his logical advice he has nothing to give. Grr!

Either way it is on my mind and I can't quit thinking about it.

Sometimes being a grown up really stinks!