I want to fix it for him.

No one ever told me I would cry so much over one student. I recently posted about one of my most favorite students, J and his struggles. Today a student walked into my room during lunch and this is the conversation that took place.

Student: You like J, don't you?

Me: Yes, why? What's going on?

S: He is trying to kill himself.

Me: What is he doing?

S: He is on the roof and saying he is going to jump?

Me: The roof?

S: Yes, of this building

Me: Does anyone else know?

S: Yes, they've cleared the area.

I immediately look out the door and see my principal, nurse, and J's counselor standing there. J is nowhere to be seen. Then all of a sudden J comes into view, just walking around on the roof.

I started to run outside, but honestly I was scared and figured there wasn't anything I could do. Yes, J loves me, but when he gets like this he doesn't listen to anyone and normally just needs time to calm down.

So I headed to the cafeteria because I knew one of my sweet girls would need me. She cares about J a lot and she cries over him often. She jumped up and hugged me and then came to my room and we just cried together.

A few minutes later J was down.

I later found out that his special ed teacher returned to school and went out there and was talking to him. He told her that if we wouldn't make him go home, he would come down. She looked at the counselor who said it was being arranged. She turned back to J and said, "Done. You don't have to go home tonight." J immediately came down. He is staying in a safe place tonight.

I managed to get through my last three classes, but as soon as they were over I started crying and have been crying since. This little boy breaks my heart. He is one of the funniest and sweetest kids I've ever met. I really just want to bring him home and love him. The good news is, he didn't hurt himself at all today. And he was so proud of this fact. That is definitely a huge improvement for J.

Please keep J, his brothers, and their dad in your prayers. It is killing me that I can't physically do something for this child.